Reasons I Hate Public Transportation (Unabridged Version)

• Uncomfortably empty bus stops/subway platforms
• Bus drivers who don’t understand the phrase “pump the brakes”
• Constantly bumping into the person next to you because the driver doesn’t pump the brakes
• Standing room only
• The alarming number of times the squeals of the track reach 600+ decibels
• Musicians/dancers/”Performing artists”
• How much I spend per month on hand sanitizer
• Unsolicited sexual advances
• Mistaking garbage trains for real trains
• Knowing that you are only 10 minutes away by car, but your trip takes 45 minutes anyways
• Not knowing that your MetroCard ran out and not having $2.25 in change
• Stairs
• Rats
• Not being able to tell what stop is coming up next because the announcement sounds like “Next stop is mmmbrrmrmsmbmnbbbrmbbr”
• www.mta.info
• Service changes that result in having to take the train downtown 8 stops past the one you need to get off at then taking it back uptown
• Trying to figure out if the ride is long enough to make it worth digging your book out of your bag
• Knowing that people are judging what book you’re reading

I would say that list is just the tip of the iceberg. After getting to LaGuardia last night at midnight, my trip home underscored how much I miss driving. I know that public transportation is much more efficient, and without it big cities would be unbearable, but why can’t I afford a chaffeur?

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