To the 85lb Girl with the Huge Golf Umbrella:
Is that umbrella really necessary? You look like a Kate Moss body double, yet insist on carrying an umbrella with at least a 4 foot diameter. Seven of you could fit under there. As if taking up that much space on the sidewalk isn’t enough, do you really have to push people out of the way to get where you’re going? You almost took out my eye with your aggressive bob-and-weave strategy. But I’m sure you’re in much more of a hurry than I am, walking home in a white shirt sans umbrella.