This escalated quickly

“Threesome?” – Muhammad the bagel guy

Okay lets rewind.

This past weekend was my birthday, and I had a bunch of my friends come down to spend a few glorious days with me. Friday night we went out downtown (PS – Arlo & Esme is now blacklisted because they wouldn’t let us in with flip flops on) and stumbled back home for  a bagel around 3:30 or 4AM. It was me, three of my girlfriends, and our two token gay friends. All of them know about Muhammad because I’m constantly raving about these bagels and how he pretends that I’m his girlfriend (although he won’t even give me a discount or anything–every time I go in there drunk, I start rambling about a frequent buyers card or something). My friends and I are very friendly, especially past 2AM, so while we were waiting for our bagels I was hugging my friend Joe, who happens to be quite Asian. Muhammad starts telling my friends I’m a troublemaker, which I completely ignore/don’t hear. When I get up to the register with my friend Jen, he points to her and says, “This is my new girlfriend.” Um, excuse me? I have been coming here loyally every weekend since I moved in and this is how you treat me? I said “Seriously Muhammad?” His response:

“You were with the Asian man.”

HAHAHAHA! So I said “Oh, no, that’s nothing. Trust me, he’s not into it.” Muhammad looks at Joe, looks back to me, then to Jen, back to me, and utters “Threesome?” with a huge grin on his face. Jen and I just look at each other and walk back to chow down. For some reason this incident in no way makes me less likely to head there this weekend…

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