Last night I strapped on my “open mind” and ventured down to Alphabet City for an open mic night with my good pal Jess. I knew I was in for a special treat, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Everyone there was pretty good, could play the guitar/piano and had a unique voice. My favorite performer (besides my homegirl) was this taugt blond guy who brought his own techno soundtrack and sang about dressing up in his girlfriend’s clothes and makeup to “discover the thread that is in all of us.” Apparently the week before he had stripped, so during an instrumental section the crowd starting cheering at him to take it off. He stripped off his shirt and did some acrobatic feats, then ran back to the mic just in time to chant “IamYouandYouareMeAndIamYouandYouareMe” over and over again. I have to admit, it was pretty mesmerizing. Then Jess went up and rocked shit and that was that.
The other point of this post is to ask the gentlemen out there: Has heckling a girl on the street ever gotten you a date? I will never understand why guys do that — has that ever worked for anyone outside of New Jersey? Do you think I’m actually going to obey when you say “Hey c’mere bitch”? The quickest way to make sure I never speak to you is to heckle me. Thanks for the advanced warning that you’re a douche.
Next rant: people passing out “coupons” in sandwich boards.