I wouldn’t call myself an angry person. But everyone else would. I prefer the term salty. At the end of a long work week, the last thing I need to see is people. Here’s a short list of people I could do without:
- Tourists who overcompensate with huge camera lenses
- People who don’t comprehend that they can’t get on the subway until I get off it
- The hipster smoking an actual corn-cob pipe and reading a book as he walked down 5th Avenue
- People who disregard the “Line Forms Here” sign
- Everyone in the line at H&M circa 3PM
- Anyone who doesn’t respect personal space
- People who take out their iPhone to write their last will and testament in the middle of the sidewalk
- Women who use the narrow aisle in a store as their personal fitting room
- The men who stand next to them holding their purse
- People who wear scarves as a “fashion statement” during a heat wave
- Co-workers who drive me to drink
- Co-workers who invite me to Happy Hour, then inform me that they’re talking about half-priced coffee at Dean & Deluca LOLZ!!1!!1!
- Any man, woman or child in a romper
- People who walk slower than I could crawl blindfolded over a bed of nails and broken glass
- People who drive a Vespa (because I don’t have one)
- The doorman to my building who somehow miraculously has someone to talk to on his Bluetooth all day every day
- The people who stand in sandwich boards and pass out fliers for a $5 Mani/Pedi/Brazillian/Shoe Shine
I’d say that’s about it for today.
Tonight I’m going to go home, buy a DVD player (thanks Amanda) and watch season after season of Mad Men.