The List.

I wouldn’t call myself an angry person. But everyone else would. I prefer the term salty. At the end of a long work week, the last thing I need to see is people. Here’s a short list of people I could do without:

  • Tourists who overcompensate with huge camera lenses
  • People who don’t comprehend that they can’t get on the subway until I get off it
  • The hipster smoking an actual corn-cob pipe and reading a book as he walked down 5th Avenue
  • People who disregard the “Line Forms Here” sign
  • Everyone in the line at H&M circa 3PM
  • Anyone who doesn’t respect personal space
  • People who take out their iPhone to write their last will and testament in the middle of the sidewalk
  • Women who use the narrow aisle in a store as their personal fitting room
  • The men who stand next to them holding their purse
  • People who wear scarves as a “fashion statement” during a heat wave
  • Co-workers who drive me to drink
  • Co-workers who invite me to Happy Hour, then inform me that they’re talking about half-priced coffee at Dean & Deluca LOLZ!!1!!1!
  • Any man, woman or child in a romper
  • People who walk slower than I could crawl blindfolded over a bed of nails and broken glass
  • People who drive a Vespa (because I don’t have one)
  • The doorman to my building who somehow miraculously has someone to talk to on his Bluetooth all day every day
  • The people who stand in sandwich boards and pass out fliers for a $5 Mani/Pedi/Brazillian/Shoe Shine

I’d say that’s about it for today.

Tonight I’m going to go home, buy a DVD player (thanks Amanda) and watch season after season of Mad Men.


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